Sleepless nights

For the last couple of days i have been feeling this emptiness inside of me. I really can’t grasp what this strange feeling might be, all I know is that I’m not a fan of it. I have been having very clear dreams these last couple of nights and I keep asking myself if perhaps they might mean anything… hmmm. Currently deep in thought. I really just want to clear my mind and start opening up my chakras because at this stage they are closed. I need to start meditating again, that really helped me. I feel as if I’m suffocating, I have so much anxiety. I have been dwelling in my dark place again, the pictures in my mind haunt me, they don’t stop, constant images flowing in, I love them. as dark and gruesome as they might be, to me it’s just beautiful. Sometimes its so many things flowing in at the same time that I just can’t process it all, makes me tired and at the same time I can say it’s very pleasing. I feel alone, very alone. lost and a bit incomplete. I’m drowning and it is taking a toll on my health. I’m not eating the way I should, and the fact that I’m at work almost 80% of the time without good nutrition is causing me pain, physically, emotionally, and mentally. I feel the need to connect on a deeper level. to be understood, to be spoken to, Its been a while since I have preached. or had an intellectual conversation with a complete stranger on the train… I love the look they give me once they hear what I have to say, the look of waw you are something else, or you are a very deep person with a very old soul. Those moments are so satisfying, you feel at that point like a rare species that is hard to come across, what an accomplishment to know that my mind is somewhat not the norm, the norm of what you see out there these days, so many shallow people, so many pretty bodies and faces but nothing else, have we really become this way? is that all we seem to care for? I see humans but where is the humanity? Is it okay to beat up on a mentally retarded child just so you can laugh at it with your friends and post it on social media! Is it okay to racial profile for no reason! Is it okay to sexualize me after I have asked you to stop! should I leave my vagina at home before leaving, if only. Is it okay to torture me just for fun, knowing i’m a defenseless animal that can’t defend itself! is it okay not to fit into society’s standards, is it okay that I’m gay and have to constantly watch my back! so many things, so much I want to do, it kills me that I cant heal the world like Micheal once said. Maybe I’m the one that needs healing, Maybe I just want to feel loved and understood, to start existing and living, to feel the blood run through my veins. The simple things are the most extraordinary things, and only the wise can see them, and that’s when I take a step back and watch, and listen, to the black woman getting on the bus with her baby girl and the Hispanic woman holding this woman’s child so she can sit and rest comfortably. to the man holding his dog on an empty downtown street, looking at her as if she is the only thing he lives for. To the girl who got up to offer a lady her seat, and then helping a defenseless old woman carry her bags up the bus steps while everyone just sat down careless as can be. To the man who saved an autistic child from drowning and died in the process. to all the 911 rescue dogs who worked around the clock to save lives and became depressed in the process. It’s time to live, and these things just give me such great joy and hope for better days to come. I miss my grandmother, I have had her on my mind for the last couple of days, I know she is here, She gives me the strength that sometimes I think I don’t have, but yet its so powerful. I love you chinita linda. Tomorrow is a new day, I want to start writing again like I use to. this is my zen, my soul, my passion, my art.
lights out world, its 6AM.

Mood - accomplished, melancholic

hoodjab:

A Greek doctor has photographed an extremely rare moment during a birth, showing a baby still encased inside the amniotic sac after it has been removed from the mother’s body.

How beautiful is life. Seeing something so pure and fragile just takes my breath away

hoodjab:

A Greek doctor has photographed an extremely rare moment during a birth, showing a baby still encased inside the amniotic sac after it has been removed from the mother’s body.

How beautiful is life. Seeing something so pure and fragile just takes my breath away

(via xsaylumx)

spiritualinspiration:

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds” (Psalm 147:3).
Aren’t you glad that God is a healer! It doesn’t matter what is “broken” in your life today, God’s nature is to bring you complete healing. Do you need healing in your body? Your mind? Heart? Finances? Relationships? God is your healer.
Notice what the Psalmist says in this verse: He binds up their wounds. In the natural, if you have a broken arm, it doesn’t just heal over night. The doctor makes a cast to hold it in place and protect it. He binds up your wound. In the spiritual realm, God does the same thing. He wraps Himself around your brokenness and protects the wounded area until it is strong enough to function properly again. The Bible also says that He is a restorer. That means that when He does a work of healing in our lives, He makes us better than we were before.
If you’re going through the healing process today, know this: it may take longer than you planned, but God is binding up your wound. He is protecting you and healing you. He will bring you out better and stronger than you were before. He will take you to a place of complete healing so that you can live the life of victory He has in store for you.

spiritualinspiration:

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds” (Psalm 147:3).

Aren’t you glad that God is a healer! It doesn’t matter what is “broken” in your life today, God’s nature is to bring you complete healing. Do you need healing in your body? Your mind? Heart? Finances? Relationships? God is your healer.

Notice what the Psalmist says in this verse: He binds up their wounds. In the natural, if you have a broken arm, it doesn’t just heal over night. The doctor makes a cast to hold it in place and protect it. He binds up your wound. In the spiritual realm, God does the same thing. He wraps Himself around your brokenness and protects the wounded area until it is strong enough to function properly again. The Bible also says that He is a restorer. That means that when He does a work of healing in our lives, He makes us better than we were before.

If you’re going through the healing process today, know this: it may take longer than you planned, but God is binding up your wound. He is protecting you and healing you. He will bring you out better and stronger than you were before. He will take you to a place of complete healing so that you can live the life of victory He has in store for you.

(via spiritualinspiration)

(via ibaoshun)

Sunday July 6 2014. Blow a kiss in the air. Let the wind fly by your hair. Stair at the sunset, this beautiful sky, I sit here alone, time won’t fly.

Sunday July 6 2014. Blow a kiss in the air. Let the wind fly by your hair. Stair at the sunset, this beautiful sky, I sit here alone, time won’t fly.

(via thewildsyde)

I need a hug or an orgasm.

Preaching

Preaching

(via pinkellephant)

skeletal-stoner:

dannykelly:

“My wife got sick. She was constantly nervous because of problems at work, personal life, her failures and children. She lost 30 pounds and weighted about 90 pounds. She got very skinny and was constantly crying. She was not a happy woman. She had suffered from continuing headaches, heart pain and jammed nerves in her back and ribs. She did not sleep well, falling asleep only in the mornings and got tired very quickly during the day. Our relationship was on the verge of a break up. Her beauty was leaving her somewhere, she had bags under her eyes, and she stopped taking care of herself. She refused to shoot the films and rejected any role. I lost hope and thought that we’ll get divorced soon… But then I decided to act. After all I’ve got the most beautiful woman on earth. She is the idol of more than half of men and women on earth, and I was the one allowed to fall asleep next to her. I began to shower her with flowers, kisses and compliments. I surprised and pleased her every minute i could. I gave her a lot of gifts and i lived just for her. I spoke in public only about her. I incorporated all themes in her direction. I praised her in front of her own and our mutual friends. You won’t believe it, but she blossomed. She became better. She gained weight, was no longer nervous and loved me even more than ever. I had no clue that she could love that much. And then I realized one thing: the woman is the reflection of her man.” ~ Brad Pitt about Angelina Jolie


you are a beautiful soul brad pitt

How amazing is what another person can physically, mentally, and emotionally do to you.

skeletal-stoner:

dannykelly:

“My wife got sick. She was constantly nervous because of problems at work, personal life, her failures and children. She lost 30 pounds and weighted about 90 pounds. She got very skinny and was constantly crying. She was not a happy woman. She had suffered from continuing headaches, heart pain and jammed nerves in her back and ribs. She did not sleep well, falling asleep only in the mornings and got tired very quickly during the day. Our relationship was on the verge of a break up. Her beauty was leaving her somewhere, she had bags under her eyes, and she stopped taking care of herself. She refused to shoot the films and rejected any role. I lost hope and thought that we’ll get divorced soon… But then I decided to act. After all I’ve got the most beautiful woman on earth. She is the idol of more than half of men and women on earth, and I was the one allowed to fall asleep next to her. I began to shower her with flowers, kisses and compliments. I surprised and pleased her every minute i could. I gave her a lot of gifts and i lived just for her. I spoke in public only about her. I incorporated all themes in her direction. I praised her in front of her own and our mutual friends. You won’t believe it, but she blossomed. She became better. She gained weight, was no longer nervous and loved me even more than ever. I had no clue that she could love that much. And then I realized one thing: the woman is the reflection of her man.” ~ Brad Pitt about Angelina Jolie

you are a beautiful soul brad pitt

How amazing is what another person can physically, mentally, and emotionally do to you.

(via helainetieu)

http://youtu.be/fuoKRg4lHTY ›

Abigail Bailey - Touch me (Lyrics):

goldandpleasure:

captainarlert:

crying-to-the-ocean:

jakerahodeez:

The fact that this even needs to be posted is fucking ridiculous

"Masturbating" no if you need to be told not to on a bus you’re fucking disgusting

Masturbating? Has this been an issue? That’s gross.

Yep, masturbating is totally an issue! just recently a friend had a guy masturbate in front of them on a NY subway. the world is just as fucked up as your worst nightmare says it is! 

goldandpleasure:

captainarlert:

crying-to-the-ocean:

jakerahodeez:

The fact that this even needs to be posted is fucking ridiculous

"Masturbating" no if you need to be told not to on a bus you’re fucking disgusting

Masturbating? Has this been an issue? That’s gross.

Yep, masturbating is totally an issue! just recently a friend had a guy masturbate in front of them on a NY subway. the world is just as fucked up as your worst nightmare says it is! 

(via chillona)

(via knowledgeandlove)

(via sirchiiefsalot)

Have sex. Have dirty, raunchy sex. Have sex in the bed, on the counter, in the car, in the bathroom. Have it everywhere. Have passionate love making sex. Fuck. Go slow. Gaze into their eyes. Learn every curve and bump on their body. Learn what makes them quiver. Learn what makes them cum the hardest. Feel their body and fall back in love with them. Just have sex.